getting ready for surgery…
Three days away.
I think I’m ready. But I’ll always feel like I could have done more. I’ve been seeing my physical therapist twice a week for over a month, but I haven’t been exercising enough. I’ve been drinking a ton of water, but I could have been eating better.
Overall, I am feeling really good mentally. I have been living in pain for so long and now I’m finally doing something about it. I am not one of those people that gets stressed flying because I trust a pilot to fly the plane more than me. So I’m putting my trust in the hands of my surgeons, even though there is so much they won’t know until they are actually inside my guts. And so much I won’t know until I wake up.
I’m lucky that I don’t have a ton to get sorted before I go in. Since my surgery is a bit more complicated, my surgeon thinks I’ll be in the hospital for 3-5 days. So I got some things to keep me occupied: a sudoku book, playing cards to force upon all visitors, a journal, a mindfulness word search - although I’m still not entirely sure what that means - and a few books. I’m probably being optimistic about how much I’ll feel like doing, but I like options.
The rest of my purchases have revolved around pillows. I got a hysterectomy pillow because everyone on the internet seems to swear by them and it is adorable. I also got one of those giant v-shaped pregnancy pillows because I am really worried about being able to sleep on my back. I already have a wedge pillow for my legs, a heating pad and a heated blanket. I’m getting our downstairs guest room set up as my infirmary nest so I’m close to a bathroom and don’t have to worry about stairs.
Work stuff has been pretty easy to sort out so far. I went in months ago to talk to HR so they’ve been aware and quite helpful. I’m lucky that I’ll be able to set up short term disability for my recovery and still get a paycheck.
And speaking of lucky, I haven’t even had to think about food or chores or kids or dogs. My family is all thousands of miles away, but I’ve got a very supportive partner and everything I need. So I am grateful that I’ll be able to concentrate on healing.
I had my last appointment with my physical therapist pre-op today and she assured me that I have done everything I could to prepare. And she told me that what I’m doing is brave. I’m really going to lean into that feeling. Even though I have so little control over this whole situation, this is my first step in taking control back of my life.
